Chain Ki Neend

I have been silent for a long time. Its been more than a month since I wrote last. Long silence, this. But before I commence this post I have someone to thank. For it was he who suggested (unknowingly, I guess) the title for this post. Some witty remark from Nachiket Gajare proved to be a muse for me. And I finally decided to break my bloggy silence.

I have been silent for a long time. When was the last time I “talked?” For the last few weeks I have been a mere spectator of my actions, or inactions. It was almost some form of out- of- body experience. I saw myself taking decisions I didn’t think I would, I saw myself thinking in ways I didn’t know I could. I could see myself running around, busy with some work, making excuses for my behavior, my silence. Slowly I could see myself getting lost in the crowd. I didn’t even try to get back together with that drifting, aimless, apparently busy self, till I actually realized what I was doing and why I was doing it. Staying aloof brings with it some kind of numbness which is very addictive. I didn't have to think much, but only go with the flow. I would have stayed this way had it not been for a sudden realization. The realization that I was not writing a lot, at least not like the way i used to. The new me did not like to pen down my thoughts. Unusual, for the Yashada I know.This separation from my being was affecting my (among other things), writing.

I can't stay this way! Not talking is unhealthy. I must break my silence. And hence this post.

The last few days have been super-hectic. I have barely slept. Why? Some submission, as usual. All I wanted to do after the submission was have some good, untroubled sleep. Chain ki neend, in Nachiket’s words. Well, the submission is over now and I’m at the other side of it. It would have been a very different side if it wasn’t for some Bollywood ish-style shootings taking place on the very streets of my dear city. News channels are suddenly showing scenes that look like they're from fromsome Hindi film. Whoever could have imagined terrorists coming by boat, attacking, among other places, the Taj- more than just a hotel for any Mumbaikar. Considering that complete murderous lunatics are loose in our city, wonder if any of us can have any chain ki neend…

Thanks again, Nachiket for the title.