This post is a result of a conversation I had with a friend of mine the other day. It all started when he realised my parents were quite cool about me traveling alone at night. (By night I mean 11.00 to 12.00 pm types). Well first of all let me go on record by saying they are ok with it only if they know who I am with, exactly where I am and why I have gone there and how I intend to come back. If I am with people I don't know too well, the question of me asking them permission to stay out late doesn't arise because I myself usually decide to go home early.
Anyway, so he asked me how safe it is for a girl to travel late night in Mumbai, which made me think. I told him that I have in fact had a few hassles while traveling alone. I didn't elaborate much and I could see he couldn't figure out the extent of these 'hassles", but he certainly seemed shocked and concerned. So I shall elaborate some of these incidents here in this post. Its not easy to talk about them here for all to read but I think I should do this because people must know. When have I ever told a guy friend of mine I had a hard time traveling in the bus or walking on the road? Its always your girl friends you talk to and avoid such conversations with guy friends. Isn't that wrong? They should be made aware of it, in case they aren't already. So here are a few experiences:
Dhakkas: The 'dhakaas' especially on railway staircases, and roads are common, so are in a BEST bus when the driver hits the breaks suddenly. They usually take advantage of the swaying motion of the bus to brush against you. Another thing they do is, if you are sitting at the outer edge of a BEST seat, while getting off, they brush past you or stand in such a way that the middle of their legs brush your shoulders.
Name calling: A very common phenomenon, you are called all sorts of things as they pass you by.
Staring: Urrghh, its one of the sickest! Even if they are sitting ahead of you in a bus, they actually do an almost 180 degree turn and stare at you like you are an animal at a zoo.
One of the worst is when they don't touch you at all, but touch themselves. While sitting beside you in a bus if they have a bag or something, they can easily hide the fact from the rest of the passengers that their zipper is down. This incident has happened so many times that I have lost count. That's the reason why most women would kill to sit on the "Ladies Seat" in a bus, since it ensures that the passenger next to you will almost certainly be a woman.
I suppose the scariest time was when I was traveling in a train from Andheri to CST, I had to catch another train from CST to go to Amboli for a college excursion. It was about 8.30 pm and since I was traveling in the opposite direction of the rush hour crowd (which travels from CST to up North like Andheri) the train wasn't crowded. So at Sandhurst road the train compartment completely emptied except me so that I was the sole occupant. Some guy got in, sat on the next row, pulled down his zipper and...
Even though I was not touched physically, (THANK GOD FOR THAT) it was the scariest and sickest train ride I have ever been on.
I remember very well that mom had advised me against traveling to CST alone, because the train will not be crowded, and hence, unsafe.The rest of my college friends were going to meet at Dadar and would proceed to travel together from there to CSTvia Central Line. But since I live in Andheri I had a direct train to CST via Hrbour Line I decided not to meet them at Dadar. I think this happens to be the only time I didn't heed mom's advice. She has always known which is the safest route since she must have gone through all this herself. I have made a note in my mind to always consult her and learn from her experiences.
I can guarantee each and every girl has gone through a harrowing experience such as this, or sadly, worse than these, unless she travels only by private transport.
I have noticed that most of these situations have arisen either in broad day light or during evening, not necessarily late night. But this does not in any way prove that traveling by night is safer or something, simply because the frequency by which we have travelled by night is less than in usual rush hours, so the two cannot be compared.
Another thing I have noticed is that such incidents occur, surprisingly, when you wear salwaar kameez, with most of your body covered. Jeans and tops don't elicit such reactions as much as a salwaar kameez does. I don't really know why, but one possibility is you seem more vulnerable in Indian clothes whereas western clothes somewhere in the deep recesses of their minds make you seem independent and harder to dominate. Its just a theory, I dunno.
Anyway, that's all I suppose. And let me go on record that neither of my girl friends or I have been daunted by it as such, we have grown up in such a world, have taken it in our stride and have learnt to walk on the streets, occasionally raising our voices and teaching the assholes a lesson.
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